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It's Not Me , It's You .

What do you do when you don’t want to loose the person you love but at the same time , you're afraid of getting hurt ? Do you stay with them and see what happens ? Or do you Leave and save yourself a lot of headaches ? What if the person you love doesn’t try and leaves you fighting for the relationship all by yourself ?


I ask myself , “am I really that easy to let go of ? Am I really that easy to stop fighting for ?”. I try to explain things to you but it seems like everything I tell you goes in through one ear and out the other . You tell me you love me but you don’t show it . You tell me to trust you but you don’t give me reasons to . You make it so hard for me to believe anything you say . What happend to the old you ? You don’t act like that person I fell in love with . Sometimes , I feel like I don’t even know you anymore . I get tierd of arguing all the time and soometimes I feel like saying “Fine , Do what you want. Walk out like you’ve done many other times , I won’t stop you .” What am I supost to do ? I can’t make you be with me if you don’t care anymore . <//3

S(he) Be(lie)ve(d)

Love ? What is that word ?
Why does forever seem so short ?
holding in the tears til you feel a sting in your throat .
Thinking about the memories
and all the things you’ve been though .
Imagining life without them
and starting something new .
Your biggest fear was losing them
and now the day has come .
To forget all the memories
since they’re already gone .
It’s only been two weeks ,
but it feels like twenty years .
If only that person new about
the sobs and lonely tears </3
Everyday that passes ,
you miss them even more
It hurt to think that someday ,
They’ll love someone else , more .
You feel the urge to write them ,
message them or call them
but what’s the point in doing so ,
You can no longer love them .
But you still won’t give up .
Cause no one loves them like you do .
And you know that someday ,
They’ll be coming back to you .

You Mad Bro ?

Trippin' over your boyfriend ,
Honey why you mad ?
Getting mad all the time ,
Yeah , that's what makes him sad.
He tells me how he feels ,
When he's standing next to thee .
He says with me he's better ,
He can actually be free !
Away from all your drama ,
All your nonsence & the pain .
The lies , the hate the trauma ,
You be driving him insane !
You think this is my fault ?
You're the only one he'll love ?
Wake up & feel reality ,
I take him WAY above (:
I'm here to pick him up ,
While you're there to let him fall ,
Text message after text ,
You NEVER reply at all !
If it wasn't for the darkness ,
You wouldn't see the stars .
With me his wounds are healing ,
You can barely see the scares !
But I just want to thank you ,
For opening his eyes .
For showing your true colors
& Showing your disguise .

Luz Clarita ~

    Most people get their names from famous people or after a family member, what if I told you I got my name from a T.v show ?    My mom told me that when I was still in her belly , my sister used to LOVE this T.v. show called “Luz Clarita”. She would watch it every day and never missed an episode of it ! She would go on and on about how she wanted her little sister’s name to be Luz Clarita and how she was gonna look exactly how the girl from the T.v. show did. My mom was planning something else though. My mom would get so mad at her about that because she wanted to call me Vanessa or Valeria so she tried to make my sister stop but there was no way to stop her !
   
Well months passed by and my mom still hadn’t decided on what to name me! I was finally born and the nurse asked my mom what she was gonna name her baby. My mom wanted my dad to name me so she decided to wait . Later that night , my mom told my dad about how she wanted him to name me and she asked him what he would like. My sister , being as nosey as she is, came in the room all excited and she screamed “Luz Clarita! NAME HER LUZ CLARITA!!” . My dad agreed that it was a very pretty name and they decided to name me Luz Clarita .(:
   
I laugh at it when my mom tells me this story but it’s pretty weird when people ask me for my name. Curiously , they ask “Ohh , like the t.v. show ?:D” while I reply with a simple "Yes (-.-)" . You would think I'd be used to it by now.

Abuelita '.

Me and my abuelita were really close. She was one of those funny abuelas that would bring a smile to your face just by seeing them. She would invite her elderly friends over, play loteria or watch Novelas which never missed an episode of! She was a happy viejita !
    My mom decided to move my abuelita in with us because she thought it was the best for her. Out of nowhere, her leg would start hurting really bad, she would tell mi abuelito to buy her some patches because she thought it was coldness that was making them acke! She would cry about it day and night and that worried my mom. Well, my mom was noticing how skinny she was getting and how weak she was and that wasn’t normal at all.
    One day , my abuelita went to the bathroom and suddenly, we herd her crying. My mom ran to her and asked her what had happened! In shock, she answered , “There’s blood in the toilet! ):”. They rushed to the hospital which my abuelita hated, she would say docters were like vampires, just sucking out her blood with needles. They kept her in there for a day or two while they checked her but they said everything was okay so we brought her back home. A week later , she was telling us about how she missed Texas and all the family there so my godmother decided to take her there.
    Days passed and my mom Finally got a text from my Tia Irma. It was a picture of my abuelita, she was as pale as a snow man , she had lost too much weight and her hair was almost completely gone ! When my mom saw this , she started crying and so did I because I hate seeing my jefecita cry. We packed our stuff and left to Texas. As soon as we got there, all the family greeted us and took us to the room where abuelita was sleeping. I didn’t know if she was sleeping or not because she would try to talk but her mouth would barley move. I stayed in the room with her most of the time. She would open her eyes from time to time and smile. I wanted her to know everything was gonna be okay so I smiled back.
    Doctors would go check on her and they would say she was getting better and better ! Everyone had hope she was gonna make it so since I had to go to school and my mom had to work, we went back to N.C. We finally got back home and weeks passed fast! One night my mom received a phone call from my Tia Irma. She was in tears and everyone in the background were screaming and crying. Abuelita wasn’t with us anymore. When my mom herd this, She bursted out in tears! I didn’t know how to make her smile because everyone was crying, and I could imagine how she felt. I felt terrible! I hugged my mom, hoping it would make a difference but it didn’t, she would only cry more.
    Now, we keep a giant picture of abuelita in my god mother’s house. Sometimes we take flowers and lay them there to let her know she’ll never be forgotten. Even though she’s not here with us, we know she’ll always be watching us from above.

Abuelita: Grandma   
Abuelito: Grandpa
Jefecita: mom , boss
Loteria: Mexican Lottery
Novelas: novel, story; romance
Tia: Aunt
Viejita: old lady , old

15 Missed Calls

    Have you ever herd people say “even 2012 isn’t as scary as 10 missed calls from your mom.”? Well it’s true . I’ma tell you a story about a time i didn’t pick up the phone and got in HUGE trouble.
    It was a warm summer afternoon and like any other young person , I was bored. I thought to myself “Oh come on , it’s summer ! have fun ! go out !” and right then , I got a text from my bestie Claudia. The text read “hey Luzzie! wasuup Chula ? what you say you spend the night tonight and tomorrow we go skating with Jose m, Alex A & Julian P ? I’ll come pick you up if you wanna(:” and I replied “alright Pues , <3 Let me just tell mi jefa & I’ll see you then .” . That night I got ready, took some clothes, makeup and my hair straightener. Claudia picked me up from my house & off we were to hers!  As the night passed, we barley got any sleep. We laughed at funny pictures , Old memories & random texts while her mom yelled from across the hall too be QUIET !! Later , Claudia fell asleep and I was still up , listening to my favorite M.C Magic , Lil Rob & singing along to the lyrics in my head. Before i knew it , it was morning and we had to get up ! Claudia woke me up so we could get ready. We went out to eat with her mom and her older brother & soon we got dropped off at the skating rink. We met up with the guys there and to my surprise , Jose had brought his girlfriend and so did Julian. I was with Alex and Claudia was waiting for her boyfriend , Frank. We spent the day there, falling and laughing at each other because we didn’t know how to skate ! We were all having fun but soon , we had to leave. The guys left before us and right after , Claudia’s mom picked us up. I hadn’t noticed my phone was off so I reached into my picked and turned it on! As soon as the phone turned on , “*BUZZZZZZ BUZZZZ BUZZZZZZZ*” , i had 15 missed calls from my mom. I freaked out and called her back ! She told me she wanted me home first thing , the next morning!
    The next morning , I went home and there was my mom. She had a serious look on her face , I was scared because I had never seen my mom so serious before. I thought I had done something really bad but I couldn’t remember what I did wrong. She said “Porque no contestaste el telefono anoche ? ehh ? Estas castigada!! Para que quieres un telefono si no lo vas a usar ?!(Why didn’t you answer the phone last night ? huh ? You’re grounded !! why would you want a Phone if you don’t even use it ?)”. I gave her the phone and started to laugh. I told her it was silly how she would ground me for such a little reason! But she got mad .
    I learnt my lesson! Next time I go out , I better answer the phone before my mom grounded me again.

Chula ; Cutie .
Pues: Then
jefa: Mom , Boss